#25 - The Other Cold War: Getting your Crap Together, so you can Love and be Loved

Special guest Shayla joins us again to discuss how our own crap gets in the way of loving and being loved, and what we can do about it (emphasis on the do!). First, we again imagine what it's like to have the burden of being highly attractive people (and why their dating app profiles are so boring), Shayla confirms that women do, in fact, care a lot about men's physical attractiveness (but it carries relatively less weight overall than it does for men), and Bryce takes responsibility for his past poor dress and grooming (sorry, ladies! I look much better now :-D )

After that, we dive into the topic of how our internal obstacles, wounds, and general shortcomings play a significant role in our ability, or inability, to love others and be loved by them. We emphasize how real progress cannot be achieved without first taking responsibility for our entire role (the good as well as the bad) in our relationships and circumstances, and then honestly evaluating and doing something disciplined and productive to improve. We discuss how even people without severely traumatic experiences nevertheless have psychic wounds and emotional clutter which hinder our relationships (but can be healed and de-cluttered). Paul expresses the importance of being kinder to ourselves.

We also draw from the insights of Katherine Woodward Thomas in her book, Calling in the One, who describes the "solid sense of self" that prepares us to have healthy relationships, and our capacity (and responsibility) to craft and adjust our own mental constructs about our identities. Additionally, we discuss the practical advice offered in Jordan Peterson's video, Fix Yourself, related to having an honest dialogue with ourselves about our role - and positive potential! - in our circumstances.